5 AWESOME Metal Workout Songs

Greetings Legions,

For the record: I am still undergoing reverse culture shock at the moment and, as a result aside from working, all I do is hibernate like an almost fossilized polar bear in the Arctic Pole. Staying physically active has become a challenge, where motivation and I are constantly playing hide and seek, and guess what? I have rarely won… At this point I have to take advantage of any opportunity available to leave my house. That act, in itself, comprises more physical activity than anything I can do at the Fraulein Cave (I work in it, I plan my stuff in it, I eat in it, I sleep in it, I read in it, I poorly attempt to play guitar in it, etc., etc.).

Yesterday, as I was talking to my friend Ghoul from Servus Obscurus, he was informing me about the possible covers that his band may consider doing, among which Carpathian Forest’s The Angel and the Sodomizer came up. Even though, and thanks to him, I have CF’s entire discography, I had been rather disconnected from my Metal side, since I discovered that over 70% of my music collection is solely Black freakin’ Metal. Don’t get me wrong, I love it and I am all pro-Ad Majorem Sathanas Gloriam, but seriously this feeling of overwhelm triggered my anti-radicalism antibodies, which make no exceptions when too much is a bit TOO MUCH!  Either way, I had a serious chat with my antibodies and explained that Black Metal and radicalism go waaaay back and are always walking side-by-side, like those couples you see walking at the beach holding hands during summer evenings. Thus, being radical at times is not always that bad. Then we agreed that Black-Thrash beats all, upon this principle, we made peace and I proceeded to reunite with my long lost Black Metal collection.

I mentioned to my buddy Ghoul that this song would be great to work out to, which gave me that one excuse to drag me out of the Fraulein Cave: EUREKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  After finishing work at around 7pm (which thanks to the whole DST, looks more like a sunny 5pm to me), Yours truly jumped into the car and drove to the gym ready to sweat like Nattefrost probably does (and why wouldn’t he? He certainly likes pissing and letting people know…). I jumped into the elliptic machine and rocked the heck out of it but less than 5 minutes later, the song was done and I was not only sad but didn’t have a beat to follow. Fortunately, I am prepared for this kind of situation and I have a backup plan: A playlist called Gym – Metal. 

From last night’s work out session, I became inspired and decided to share with the readers of this humble blog, 5 great Metal songs to work out to. Here we go:

1.    The Angel and the Sodomizer -  Carpathian Forest

Once again, Black-Thrash beats all! This song is great for jogging at a steady pace, as the tempo does not fluctuate much. I find it rather motivating, making me run as fast as I can while trying to keep my Metal posture:

(A.K.A.Making Abbath's face)

2.    Battalions – I

And speaking of the devil, Mr. Abbath is one to know how to make some great tunes. Yours truly is a huge fan of his project “I”, and even though Battalions is not my favorite song from the Between Two Worlds record, it is one heck of a tune to keep you focus while exercising. Quite frankly, if you fail to do so you will feel that you are letting down Abbath and he will probably haunt you down Norwegian Style.

Them Norwegians don't like screwing around....

3.    Dios Vuelto Miseria- Amducia

Enough of Black Metal for now. If you want a heck of a workout and really feel that you are doing something with your life, music with electronic influences is always a safe bet and for the Metal Lover, adding heavier beats and aggressive vocals will always be a bonus. Amducia is a band I came across during Fusion Radio years, while doing Distortion and scouting the shit out of Latin American talent. Even though they may not be very well known in North America, let me tell you that they are pretty notorious within the EBM scene at the Modern Mecca of the genre: Germany, alongside bands like Blutengel, God Module, Combichrist, and their fellow Mexican mates, Hocico with its projects: Rabia Sorda, Dulce Liquido and Tristesse de la Lune.

4.    Eyeless – Slipknot

They had me at the D&B intro. Then, the song becomes like a quest that needs to be progressively conquered. You want to sweat? Well, this song is for you! Half way to the song (at: ♫It’s all in your head, it’s all in my head, YEAH! ♫), you can take a bit of a break and continue jogging the heck out of that treadmill. The song is so intense that it even slows down at the end (30s before it finishes), inviting you to please cool down before you die of a heart attack. Trust me, slipknot wants you back the next day for more intense sprinting.

You don't want to upset Clown, do you now?

5.    Shroud of Urine – Exodus

It was about time I introduced some real Thrash to this routine. Quite frankly, I stopped questioning myself about how these songs manage to gather energy I didn’t even think I had. I could be dying of exhaustion, and yet if this song comes up it’s like downing three cans of Red Bull and a pound of Pop Rocks!

Red bull + Pop Rocks = This.

And the list goes on and on and on. I could have even included Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden, but I’ll leave that for another inspirational time at the gym. The moral of this story is that Metal will never let you down, particularly at times where monotony takes over your life. If you haven’t accepted Metal in your heart, this may be the time to do so before one of Jehovah’s Witnesses knocks on your door and convinces you of something else (you never know…).  For that, I pledge allegiance to the Legions of Incredible Metal, Kamen.

-Stay Metal-

Fraulein Andrea MMXII